Emotional Intelligence

“No creature can fly with just one wing.

Gifted leadership occurs where head and heart – feeling and thought – meet.

These are the two wings that allow a leader to soar.”

- Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence is the foundation that creates relationships that work!

Emotional Intelligence =

Awareness + Reflection + Insight + Skills in Action

Emotionally Intelligent person have a robust emotional vocabulary.

All people experience emotions, but it selects few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Research shows that only 36 percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling "bad," emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel "irritable," "frustrated," "downtrodden," or "anxious." The more specific one’s word choice, the better insight one has into exactly how one is feeling, what caused it, and what one should do about it.

Emotionally intelligent person is curious about people.

It doesn't matter if they're introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ.

They embrace change.

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action to do the needed change.

They know their strengths and weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people don't just understand emotions; they know what they're good at and what they're terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means one knows one’s strengths and how to lean into and use it to the full advantage while keeping the weaknesses from holding oneself back.

They know how to say no (to oneself and others).

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. They delay gratification and avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that one faces saying no, they are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is a major self-control challenge for many people, but "No" is a powerful word that one should be unafraid to wield. Saying no to a new commitment honors one’s existing commitments and gives the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

They appreciate what they have.

Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experience improved mood, energy, and physical well-being.

They disconnect.

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps to keep one stress under control and to live in the moment. When one makes oneself available to one’s work 24/7, one gets exposes to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing oneself offline and turning off one’s phone gives one’s body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an email break can lower stress levels.

They limit their caffeine intake.

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, which is the primary source of a fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when one is responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts one’s brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, one’s emotions overrun one’s behavior. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don't let it get the better of them.

They get enough sleep.

It's difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing one’s emotional intelligence and managing one’s stress levels. When one sleeps, one’s brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day's memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that one wakes up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don't get enough--or the right kind--of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

Stop negative self-talk in its tracks.

Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

They won't let anyone limit one’s joy.

When one’s sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, one is no longer the master of one’s own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they've done, they won't let anyone's opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it's impossible to turn off one’s reactions to what others think, one doesn't have to compare oneself to others, and one can always take people's opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, one’s self-worth comes from within.

- Manjushri and Mausimi